COnfident + crushing it
When my first long term relationship ended and I got into the dating scene, I wasn’t particularly optimistic.
I had moved to a new country with my ex, didn’t really have a social life or many friends and the thought of being alone sucked big time. I had gone from living at home to playing house with my first serious boyfriend and here I was in a place where I knew next to no-one. I'm not one to ever wallow in my own self pity for long and I knew that if I was going to meet someone I had to get out of my comfort zone. So I decided to pluck up every ounce of courage I had and create an online dating profile. Like an actual online dating profile. We’re talking circa 2008 pre-Tinder days here.
Truth be told, I didn’t value myself enough to think I deserved a really great relationship so I set my standards pretty low.
If a guy was really good looking I wouldn’t agree to go on a date with him. I mean he couldn’t possibly want to date someone like me?
If he seemed too interested I wouldn’t meet with him. There must be something wrong with him if he’s so keen to meet me.
If he wanted to meet too soon after we matched online that rang alarm bells. He didn’t know anything about me, why the hell would he want to go on a date with me?
Sure, I went on dates but I would literally be so sick with nerves that I would always secretly hope that they would cancel.
I’d gotten pretty good at putting on a brave face so things weren’t actually that bad once we had gotten past the first ten minutes of awkward small talk.
The dates were fine, the guys were nice enough but I had no luck. Some I liked but they didn’t like me back, most were mutually happy to leave it at date one and the ones that may have been interested I friend zoned pretty quickly.
I didn’t get it. The confident girl I remembered had somehow gotten lost during my first relationship and I struggled to imagine myself finding the right guy for me. Who even was the right guy for me?
It took time, practice and plenty more dating and relationships for me to find myself again, and it was one hell of a journey but boy-oh-boy was it worth it.
I learnt a lot of valuable lessons in my many, many years of dating and relationships but the most important of them all was to stop looking for fulfilment in someone else. Once I reminded myself of just how fucking awesome I am and what I was bringing to the table, THAT was when things turned around.
I went from falling into relationships with guys who were so totally wrong for me and spending way too long in relationships where we both knew they weren't going to last, to going on so many awesome dates with so many awesome guys and eventually meeting the most AMAZING guy for me who I am so crazy, stupid in love with.
When I stopped trying to be the girl I thought I needed to be in order to meet the man of my dreams, and started just living life for me and trusting that the right guy would turn up at the right time, I started to LOVE dating (and my whole life in general). It was fun, it was exciting, I met people I would never have crossed paths with otherwise, and made some awesome, interesting amazing friends along the way.
And I am now in the most loving, communicative, supportive relationship with my best friend and 100% wish this same kind of happy relationship for everyone.
If you're ready to start dating like a pro(fessional), or create a bomb-diggity relationship with your man, then you've come to the right place.
If you're a single lady who is ready to stop ending up with the wrong guys (or no guys) I would love to work 1:1 with you to get your confidence up to the sky, so you can date your way to the man of your dreams.
Confident + Crushing it on Tinder - a 4 week online dating bootcamp - LAUNCHING SOON
If you're currently in a relationship that isn't quite up to the level you want it to be, let's work together to figure out what the story is, and boost your confidence for you to start speaking up, owning your desires and creating your own #couplegoals relationship.